Our Actions Are Our Lessons

This week we read about the stringencies the ancient priests observed. They could not, for example, come into contact with the dead unless they were a mourner. They could not shave their heads. They could not marry a widow or divorced woman. The list goes on and although only observed in more traditional communities, they offer us lessons.

The portion is introduced by the words, “Say (emor) to the priests, the sons of Aaron, say to them.” (Leviticus 21)

Why does the Torah repeat the command “say”? It cannot be a mistake. It must offer lessons.

The medieval commentator, Nachmanides, argues that the phrase is repeated because it runs counter to accustomed norms. In this case it is incumbent on everyone to attend a funeral and offer comfort to mourners. Because the priest must observe additional stringencies, the Torah repeats the phrase. It is as if to say, “Priest, pay attention!” These laws are not what we would expect. They are contrary to our inclinations.

The priest is expected to do more. The priest is held to a different standard. People expect priests to be more observant. They are expected to be more scrupulous in their behavior. People watch what they do, and what they don’t do. They emulate their actions.

Then again, perhaps the repetition teaches us something about leadership. When people assume a leadership role, they not only take on additional responsibilities but also added stringencies. What is permissible for others is not necessarily permitted for leaders.

We expect our leaders to act in the right way. We expect them to be model ethical action. It is not that we expect them to be perfect. They are of course human beings. But they can strive to be better. And when they err, they can admit their errors.

Leadership is not about being perfect. It is about striving. It is about admitting when mistakes are made. It is about serving as a model for how we can learn from our errors. Acting righteously does not mean acting perfectly.

Moreover, the Torah emphasizes to the children of Aaron. Perhaps this offers a lesson for parents. Parents can say all they want “Do as I say not as I do,” and children will always do as they do no matter what they say. Our actions are our lessons. They teach more than we even sometimes want.

If we are impatient and short tempered with others, then our children learn these behaviors. If we, on the other hand, are kind and compassionate, then our children will follow our example. If we are generous to charities, then our children will learn the value of tzedakah. Again, the list goes on.

If we are to be a kingdom of priests as the Torah suggests then we must strive to do more. We must be just as scrupulous in our personal ethics as any leader and any parent.

Our actions are our lessons.