Look Away from the Bad

The Torah admonishes us to wipe out our enemies, most especially the Amalekites who attacked our ancestors, killing the Israelite children, weak and infirm. So despised were their actions that even the Amalekites’ memory is to be expunged from the annals of history. How one blots out their memory while remembering their infamy is a mystery, but the command remains clear. “You shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven. Do not forget!” (Deuteronomy 25)

And so, it comes as surprise that the Egyptians who enslaved us and embittered our ancestors’ lives and whose ruthlessness is the stuff of our Passover tale, are treated quite differently. The Torah commands: “You shall not abhor an Egyptian, for you were a stranger in that land.” (Deuteronomy 23)

The medieval commentators are likewise perplexed. Rashi (1040-1105) adds, “Even though they cast your children into the river!” And then he responds to his own bewilderment. Our years in Egypt ended with oppression and slavery. They began, however, hundreds of years earlier when Joseph and his brothers were rescued from famine. Rashi concludes: “They were your hosts in time of need. Although they sinned against you do not abhor them.”

Is this the Torah’s counsel? Remember the good and forget the bad?

During this season of repentance when we wish to turn our hearts toward others, when our most earnest prayer is to forgive and be forgiven, I am wondering if we heed this advice. Recall the good done in years past. Forgive the more recent slights—however numerable they may appear.

Moses Maimonides (1138-1204) adds: “If we find a person in trouble, whose assistance we once enjoyed, or from whom we once received some benefit, even if that person has subsequently done evil to us, we must bear in mind their previous good conduct.” (Guide of the Perplexed III:42)

Herein lies the Torah’s wisdom. If we are commanded to look past the wrongs done by the Egyptians, how much the more so those nearer to us and those who were perhaps once most dear to us?

Look past recent wrongs. Let grudges float away.

Hold on to the good once done for you—even if it seems like lifetimes ago.

Lean into Maimonides’ counsel: “The Torah has taught us how far we must extend this principle of favoring those who are near to us, and of treating kindly everyone with whom we have some relationship, even if they have offended or wronged us; even if they are very bad, we must have some consideration for them.”

Fill your heart with the good. Blot out the wrongs.