Dignity Requires Hard Work

This week we meet Rebekah. Her marriage to Isaac is arranged by Abraham and orchestrated by his trusted servant Eliezer. She is chosen because she offers to draw water for Eliezer after his long journey to Abraham’s native land. She also undertakes the difficult task of drawing water for the camels. This must have been a strenuous undertaking. She must have to run back and forth to the well hundreds of times. (A camel can drink thirty gallons of water!)

The rabbis do not, however, praise her physical strength and stamina. Instead, they speak of her kindness. She is the model of compassion. She thinks not only of people’s needs but those of animals. She reaches out to all of God’s creatures. This is why she is the perfect wife for Isaac. After his mother Sarah’s death, he needs tenderness and love. Rebekah offers it.

Rabbi Isaiah Horowitz, a seventeenth century teacher, fashions a beautiful story highlighting these attributes. He adds to Rebekah’s character and writes,

Rebekah displayed remarkably ethical conduct. She showed respect for fellow human beings. First, she let Eliezer drink. When some water was left over in the jug, she did not know what to do. She debated whether to give the left-over water to the camels. In doing this, however, she would place a person and beast on the same level by letting both of them drink from the same vessel. If, on the other hand, she would pour out the left-over water, this would also be a lack of respect, since drinking water would be demoted to the status of dirty wastewater. What did she do? She "ran" as if to give the camels to drink. While running, she pretended to fall, so that the water spilled from the jug. She then had an excuse to fill the jug anew from the well. In this way Eliezer was not slighted at all. (Shenei Luchot HaBerit)

Rebekah is unconcerned about creating extra work for herself. She only thinks about the feelings of others. She worries about Eliezer’s needs rather than her own burdens.

I wonder. Are we willing to go to such lengths to help others? Would we likewise add to our own burdens to make someone else’s life easier? How far would we go to preserve the dignity of another? Would we add tasks to our lengthy to do lists so that someone else is not offended?

For the sake of family, the answer may very well be yes. For the sake of friends, the answer might also be yes. For the sake of animals we might say, perhaps, if they are our pets. For the sake of strangers, I doubt it. Rebekah is concerned about strangers. She shows compassion to someone she just met.

We struggle to live up to our matriarch’s example.

We rarely put in extra effort when it comes to other people’s feelings. Ideas so important to our ancestors, like dignity and honor, feel outdated. Institutions that were once unquestioned are under attack. We don’t trust government and its leaders. We question schools and their teachers. We march into doctors’ offices with mountains of information downloaded from the internet. In an age when everyone is an expert, no one is an expert.

Dignity, however, is something that we extend. Honor is not only earned. It must be granted.

Like Rebekah we must be ready to go to extra lengths. We must extend honor and compassion to even the passing stranger.

We never know. A casual acquaintance could likewise be on a divine errand.